The position was filled, but not by me (again). I was very, very close to getting a job at interview #4, but I did not get it. Therefore, I am back at square one looking for a new place in which to be awesome. The EPICS program has already started and is in fact already 2 weeks into the program, which really breaks my heart because I am missing so much and I have been trying very hard to complete the requirements to finalize my acceptance. They told me that I can make up the class, but I need to find that job for the fall. The prayers to St. Jude (saint of hopeless/impossible cases) should start now! This really feels impossible at this point, and not too many openings are left.
I've updated my resume, printed out 17 cover letters (not an exaggeration), and I'm ready to do the final stretch. I've started applying also to any public/private school positions that I see are open (most of them are for Latin... English teacher positions are being filled very rapidly, but that's been true since the beginning). I also applied to Sylvan Learning Center at all the nearby locations, and they were interested in doing an interview (because they got 9 of my resumes), but there is so much going on this week that I really can't go. I'm planning to apply also to Kaplan and to Huntingdon Learning Center because tutoring makes the most sense for me to do at this point - I'm not about to switch careers exactly. I already took the PRAXIS II - it's not that hard to get certified after that's done. If I don't get anything this month, then I'm also going to get my substitute teaching license done as well as my CEs (Certificate of Eligibility) for Latin and English, and then look into teaching programs I can do the year after that so I can get my MA in Education. One step at a time, I will be behind a desk.
I can't deny that I'm disappointed that things aren't going as planned; I can't be angry with the world or with anyone because that's life, and there was always the risk that I wasn't going to find anything this summer (no matter how many interviews I went on!). I always remember that poem by Stephen Crane:
A man said to the universe:
“Sir, I exist!"
“However,” replied the universe,
“The fact has not created in me
“A sense of obligation.”
No one should feel that the world owes them something. You have to earn your way. Everything else is a gift which should inspire gratitude (gifts are not things owed, but things given freely out of good will). I'm glad I have tried, am trying, and will keep trying. I'm willing to put in the work to finding the job that I really want. Even if I don't find anything this fall, I had a couple of valuable life skills that I honed (making my resume awesome, writing a really solid cover letter, interview skills), which will help me as I go forward in any direction. If I don't find anything, I will spend that time making myself even more irresistible for schools next year and use that time wisely. You can make fairly good money (and connections) substitute-teaching, and you can gain very valuable classroom skills by tutoring. Hard work and determination will give you what you want - giving up will never get you anywhere. I may not get there this year, but there is next year. I got very, very close, and I only have so much experience and fewer credentials. Next year, after more experience and more credentials? I'm sure I'll find something, especially since I have a great resume, I can easily write a good cover letter, and I have the interview skills. I just have to persevere. I don't expect anything less of myself than I would for my students.
Keep praying!
Don't give up! You'll find the job God needs you for soon! The Crane quote makes me think, "Is it the Universe?"
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